Although many adults are too busy to get involved in projects like this, because of work and family obligations, we need to understand that the well-being of other people around us and in the rest of the world are as important to us as our own well-being, because we are connected, and regardless of whether we think we can feel other people’s pain or not or whether we think we are affected by it or not, we are in one way or another.

And if we do our bit, regardless of how little our contribution, even if it’s just spreading the word through Facebook, buying the bracelet etc., it’s worthwhile and will make a difference and will shift for the better, and we owe that to our children!

And to really make an impact, I think all schools should make it as their charity project for this year and get all the students involved by writing letters and participating in whatever activities are possible etc, as this project goes way beyond anything else of recent times and will impact our children somehow or another now and in future.

I, for one, could not just stand by and do nothing and indirectly tell my children to ignore and forget about it, as that would kill their kind-hearted spirit and beliefs of being able to make a difference and bring justice to humanity.

Please watch this movie and think about how you can make a difference.

Link — KONY 2012 – Invisible Children

I believe in making informed decisions and see both sides of the coin, and many of times when action is taking towards something, there is also the other side, so I feel it’s my obligation to provide a link to a blog, which purpose it is to create some debate about IC, so you can make your own conclusion.

Critique of Invisible Children

Of course I do not support violence, and after reading the posts, I thought about whether this is in alignment with my own values and principles, but in the end of the day I am convinced IC is doing what they do from a good heart and intention and sometimes drastic measures are called for, and I think they are doing a great job in bringing awareness, which is the first step towards making a difference. And regardless of whether IC is right or wrong about their methods, for me it goes deeper than that, as I truly believe that no child anywhere in the world should live in fear, pain and suffering, and if we tolerate this, we already tolerate too much and if we turn a blind eye, this speaks louder than any wrong-doing IC could ever do, as they are just trying different ways to bring awareness and information to people, and it is a well-known truth that when people take action and tread new waters, they will always create some kind of reaction from other people, who see things differently and have other opinions.

The information I seek is not just any kind of information, but it obviously has to be connected to my interests in self improvement, so the first criteria is that it must be something I can relate to at my current level of consciousness and something I feel I can use and act on.

What is interesting is that even with that much information in my brain, it’s good for nothing if I don’t apply it and act on it in some way. And here is the difficult part, making the shift from knowing to doing. It is so easy to know a lot of things, but actually implementing it and act on this information and knowledge is where the bridge is sometimes broken.

To get an idea of what I am talking about, imagine a bridge, a large bridge, one which is long enough so you can’t jump across it. The bridge is surrounded by the sea, so you can imagine any large bridge which is there to connect land. In the middle of this bridge, part of it is missing, so you can’t cross the bridge, you can’t jump across or walk or drive around it, you are stuck, you can’t move forward. You could go back, and try to find another bridge, but what if you can’t cross the next bridge you find either and so forth. You could go home, but you know that the other side of the bridge offers you what you always wanted, so you could never rest, because you couldn’t be content with that knowledge and knowing you could never get it, so you set out to figure out what you should do to patch the bridge so you can cross it.

This untiring search for more information and knowledge is what this is about. It is about finding the missing link to connect what you know with taking action on it and walking the talk. This is not an easy quest, as I will describe later.

Slowly you will begin to see patterns and possibilities for patching the bridge but the catch is that the patch, which will bring you to the other side of the bridge, is invisible while you are patching the bridge, so you can’t see it’s being reconnected, and trying to cross the invisible patch may send you straight in to the sea and you may drown, so you are too scared of even trying to cross. Only when you have reached the point when your knowledge has become an integral part of you and you are able to act on your knowledge on a consistent basis, will the patch on the bridge apprear clear and you can walk across it.

For many years I have been trying to patch the bridges in different areas of my life and some are closer to being connected than others and others again have already been connected. The thing is that much of it comes down to how we were raised. What was said and done to us have a huge influence on how slow or how fast we are able to connect and cross the bridges.

Let me give you an example. I was raised by wonderful parents who loved me and did the very best they could to give me a good start in life. In addition to giving me love, attention etc etc. they also passed on beliefs about life in general and about specific things that they believed to be true, either through own experience or through their parents, grandparents, teachers, society and others who had an impact on their lives. The problem is that some of these beliefs might have been true for them, but might not be true for those who they passed these beliefs to. You see when we are children, up until 6 years of age, we are like sponges, we absorb everything that goes on around us, we take over the beliefs that others around us believe and the programs they are running, because we observe and feel it by the way they treated us and others.

As adults we run the same programs as we were raised with and without being aware of it, it’s impossible to change those beliefs and programs. As an example, this means that if our mother or father had a tendency to nag at us all the time to do things, when we were kids, we will treat our own kids the same way. It’s like a tape recorder that is being played over and over again, which we cannot interrupt, because it sits in our subconscious mind. To interrupt this tape recorder, we need to become aware and be able to identify the moments when we are running the tape recorder and stop up and ask ourselves, if we really believe that this way of treating our children is the right way to get them to do the things we want them to do.

This of course requires a lot of self insight and a lot of knowledge about alternative ways of raising children, so first step is to read good books about raising children, so you know there are other ways to raise your children, if you find that you are not getting the outcome you wish and if you are tired of having to nag at your children and not seeing any effect.

But connecting this knowledge with the bridge we imagined earlier, is the challenge, because in the heat of the moment, or if we are tired, stressed, angry or just not present and aware, the tape recorder takes over the show, because it’s easier, whereas being aware needs conscious effort which is tiring.

For a long time, many years in fact, I have struggled to ignore my tape recorder and challenged my beliefs and it’s an ongoing effort, as our subconscious mind is ever so strong, but it’s possible to change the paradigms – programs and beliefs – if you know how to and make a conscious effort continuously and don’t give up when it gets challenging.

It’s easy to notice what others do wrong, and it’s getting easier to recognise where I go wrong, but without awareness we won’t improve our abilities to be better parents and break free from our past beliefs and programs and the tape recorder, which might not serve us now, especially not if our beliefs are limiting us from progressing in the areas of our life that we want to.

I don’t believe in nagging at my children so I don’t nag, but I try to find other ways to motivate them to do what they are supposed to do. One of my children is self driven and pro-active, so there is no need for monitoring or motivation, as it happens naturally, but my other child needs constant reminding and monitoring and it takes a completely different set of communication skills and mentoring approach to see the results we want, because the parenting style we were raised with is not effective or sufficient today and much more self awareness is required of us to be able to teach and enable our child to do well.

All children are different and therefore need to be treated differently to bring out the best in them. One child can be sensitive while the other child is not, and therefore the same style of parenting doesn’t work on both children and different approaches are needed, but it’s challenging for parents beause we need to learn completely new methods, while at the same time trying to tame the lion, our sub conscious mind, which will fight against us trying to do things in a new and different way, which I might write about another day.

So tying it all together, in my experience it’s a long journey and process to cross the bridge from running the tape recorder to becoming aware consciously of what we are doing on a subconscious level to shifting and changing the paradigms (past beliefs and programs) to actually start running new programs based on new beliefs and knowledge, which serve us and our children better.

In celebration of awareness and progress,

Ghita

Sure, it’s a huge challenge for teachers to adopt new ways of teaching and there will be resistance and objections, because most people don’t want to change or don’t like change, and on top of this it’s really difficult to change our habits and the way we have done things for years, but it’s necessary in order to tap in to the brilliant minds of children to make room for new creative ideas and innovative thoughts to secure our future on planet Earth.

In one of Sir Ken Robinson’s videos, I can’t remember which one now, but I have included all the videos that I have watched this far below for your reference, he said that research has shown that some people think better on their feet, while moving around and people learn better in groups, while talking and sharing, and here we are in most school situations, where children are asked to sit still for hours on end, expected to work independently and be quiet throughout the lessons, all which goes directly against the nature of most people.

Why do we want to work against what has been proven to be a much more effective way of learning, just because that is how it has always been done?

What if the schools allowed the students, who can’t sit still for very long, to move around before an exercise in order for them to get the concepts in place in their heads first, so it only takes them minutes to complete the exercises, instead of struggling for a long time to complete it, and get in trouble for fiddling with their pen and for moving in their seat, because they can’t sit still and for being noisy?

What if the schools allowed the students to work in groups for even simple exercises or for what is considered individual class work and to talk about the work among themselves, if that actually improved their understanding of the concepts and made them work faster, or at least to complete the work within the given time-frame, while they are enjoying themselves at the same time?

What if the schools allowed the teachers to separate the students in to different groups based on the children’s primary and preferred learning styles i.e. visual, audio and kinesthetic learners, and if these children were taught the concepts based on their preferred learning style and if they sat together with other children with the same learning style and after the initial introduction of the concept and instruction helped each other to apply the concepts based on their preferred learning style and did the exercises together?

The benefits that could be achieved from implementing this are endless and it would really make a huge difference in the lives of our children and we would have so many more happy, thriving, creative, diligent, motivated and excited students in the schools and children at home.

I just love the way one of Sir Ken Robinson’s speeches is made in to a cartoon, which really enhances the message he is conveying. Do watch the video at the following link — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCbdS4hSa0s

Some of  Sir Ken Robinson’s videos are:

Changing Paradigms – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCbdS4hSa0s

Bring on the learning revolution! – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LelXa3U_I&feature=relmfu

Do schools kill creativity? — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG9CE55wbtY

Enjoy!

/Ghita

My focus has always been on positive and progressive content, but this past year has had its challenges and I deviated slightly from this focus, hence I didn’t feel I had much to write about on my blog.

Of course there have been great things happening at TIS such as Tenby’s Got Talent in July, where the teachers and students really put in a lot of efforts and hard work to make it a successful and exciting talent show and other positive things happening at the school, but it has also been a year of reflection and I think the school needed time to get clear on its goals and how to move forward. A survey for the parents was conducted and discussions regarding the Parents Association took place during a couple of coffee mornings earlier this year, all of which I attended.

As an employer I can certainly relate to how challenging it is to get everything right, and it’s impossible to make everybody happy, because we come from different backgrounds and have different expectations of the school, but I think the school has to stand its grounds and move on with the vision and mission that they set out to achieve, and I trust that they are genuine in these pursuits, and I can certainly accept challenging times, as long as there are some progress to be seen and as long as the school is transparent and communicate with the parents regularly, so we are kept in the loop of what is happening at the school and as long as the school is open for discussions with the parents and are willing to listen.

It is therefore very exciting for me to see the positive changes and new developments that are currently taking place and are under way in Tenby International School and I feel I have good reason to give the school my 100% support, because they are really trying their very best to reach out to the parent community and to improving the school and themselves to show they are walking their talk. Tenby International School held its first coffee morning of the new academic year 2011/2012 on Monday 26th September 2011, which I attended and thought went very well and I will write about it soon, but I can tell that the school is progressing and new exciting times are in store.

However, for the remaining of this post I want to spend some time talking about communication, trust and expectations. Having studied communication and psychology, I know that we humans see and perceive things differently, so we might not have the same experience and perception of the school, but we ourselves are responsible for the way we perceive and approach the school, the management and the teachers and the way we are treated in return.

Nothing good is accomplished by approaching others with anger, disrespect, resentment or blame, as most people will immediately become defensive and react, sometimes inappropriately, which is very normal, as they are placed in a situation that is very uncomfortable for them. What we need to do is to genuinely acknowledge others for their efforts first and foremost, and emphasize on the positive aspects of their work and on what is going well, before bringing up issues that are of concern to us, presented in a calm, non-attacking and non-threatening manner and with emphasis on trying to find a win win solution for the benefit of all involved, because then people are more likely to help us.

We must first understand others and put ourselves in their shoes, before others are willing to understand us. It always comes from ourselves first, we must take responsibility for the way we communicate with others, and if we feel people misunderstand or mistreat us, we need to be honest with ourselves and try to figure out where we go wrong in our communication with others and then try to do it differently next time and try to improve our style of communication – the way we approach and talk with other people – until we feel understood and respected by them.

Of course the school has a responsibility to serve its “customers” and to work at fulfilling parents’ expectations, exactly what our clients expect of us, but we still need to approach the school in a friendly manner and with the right attitude, otherwise we won’t be successful with our requests.

The school is doing the best they can, and just like we would forgive our spouse for having a bad day, we have to forgive other people too, as the school management and teachers are under constant pressure to perform and live up to the parents’ expectations, and sometimes the pressure gets too much to bear, and as parents we need to step back and trust their ability to provide a good education to our children.

It’s fine to raise questions when in doubt, and give the school an opportunity to address our concerns, however we could choose to be open to the option that our concerns might be based on fears and worries about the future – what if our children won’t get the necessary knowledge, skills and results to enable them to further their studies and become successful – which is a very valid concern, but if we choose not to accept the school’s explanation and choose not to trust their ability to educate our children, regardless of what the school does then, they will never be able to live up to our expectations, because our concerns are based on fear of the future and the unknown, which only we ourselves can do something about.

So to conclude this posting, I encourage parents to trust Tenby International School and allow them room and time to work on the exciting new endeavours, which I will write more about soon.

Take care and have a pleasant day!

To peace, positivity and progression,

Ghita

On the Forum there are different topics posted on the page regularly that seeks people’s opinions, and yesterday I saw a comment by a mother, who said “I want to be a working mum. But how do I live with the guilt?”

I think most mothers feel guilt at times in various degrees, because as a mother we feel we have the main responsibility for our children’s well-being and welfare, and when mothers are not able to be with their children as much as they feel is right for them, it causes a lot of stress and anxiety, because they worry they will not be with their children enough to feel like a good enough mother and this prevents some mothers from working when they have children.

I know of workplaces where the employers are fine with employees going home, when they have worked the expected number of hours in their contract, whether it’s at 5 or 6pm depending on what time they arrive at work, but because there is always more work to do, colleagues staying back longer and late office meetings, it’s difficult for employees to go against the norm and go home “early”. It requires a mind shift in how people view work, themselves, family responsibilities and free time and courage to stay committed to what feels right for them, even when their colleagues stay longer at work than they do.

I believe that mothers who work and who are with their children enough to fulfill their own need to feel like a good mother, whatever that means for the individual, as it’s different from mother to mother, are not only good performers at work, because they are more focused and work more efficiently to complete their work on time to go home to their children, but they will also raise happier and emotionally well-functioning children, because when mothers feel good about themselves and what they are doing with their lives, it has a positive impact on their children and everybody else around them too.

It’s all about feeling good about the choices we make in our lives and staying committed to do the best we can for ourselves and our family, our employers and community.

However I think employers have to start thinking about the expectations they have to their employees, because in most jobs today, work never stops, there is always more to be done and more that can be done, but a healthy business and society must strike a healthy balance between what is reasonable to expect of work to be done by the individual employee to make a sound business and ensuring that employees don’t get sick from the stress of overworking themselves to meet unreasonable demands and the stress, anxiety and inadequacy that parents feel, because they don’t have enough time together with their children and spouses, which prevents them from having the emotional surplus and energy to be a patient and understanding parent and spouse. There are a lot of expectations on today’s parents, which are hard to fulfill, which I think is why we are seeing a rise in non-communicable diseases like high blood pressure and emotional and psychological problems, but because of the expectations, the fast pace and the desire to earn a comfortable living and doing their best to secure their children’s future, parents can hardly breathe before the next task is demanding their attention.

From a whole societal perspective it would be much better if workplaces were flexible enough to allow employees to work according to the work hours in their contract, as long as they live up to reasonable expectations, and it should not matter that a person arrives at work at 7-8am in the morning and leaves at 4-5pm or arrives at 9-10am and leaves at 6-7pm or later if they choose, as long as they perform the job they are supposed to, as they will spend less time stuck in traffic, which is good for the environment, but it will also give parents the option of planning their family life better to create a healthy environment for their children and themselves to flourish and prosper and live happy lives. This will also have a positive effect on the relationships between spouses, because their lives would be less stressful and they can do things that makes them happy together.

I think that companies that are able to offer this balance between work and free time to their employees will be more successful in the future, because I think that employees who are happier and healthier in mind and body are less sick and will do the best they can at work, because at some point people will realise that the wealth and status that might come from working harder and longer will not be worth the effort, if it comes at the expense of their own and their family’s health and well-being, and people will begin to settle for less luxurious lives, in order to live a happy and balanced life without anxiety, unhealthy stress and disease.

As a business owner I know that sometimes we need to work longer hours to meet a deadline or fulfill our promises to clients and that is okay, but we need to be able to prioritise our work and be more focused and effective in completing the tasks at hand, and not waste time on unnecessary distractions, which takes our mind away from what needs to be done. It should be possible to get one days work done in 7-8 hours, and if we can’t, it’s because we are not focused and productive enough in those 7-8 hours. In other words we allow ourselves to be distracted from the work we should be doing or are trying to stretch ourselves too much and beyond what is healthy for us.

We need rest to allow our mind and body to relax and recuperate by doing something else like exercising, spend time with our loved ones and/or friends and do things we love e.g. a hobby, reading, writing etc. as long as we are enjoying it. By working 12-16 hours daily and staying late at work every day all year round doesn’t make us more successful and I don’t think we accomplish more work or better results than we would, if we worked effectively for 8 hours a day or 40 hours spread out over a week. Some people even claim to work effectively for only 4 hours daily and still manage to live a comfortable life. So maybe it’s a paradigm shift in how we work and also what employers expect of results from each employee, as this of course has to be reasonable.

I was brought up in Scandinavia, and no one that I know of took extra tuition after school, and still today 30+ years later, it’s not common that children take extra tuition, as the children are expected to get help with homework from their teachers and parents, if they face problems, but most children manage on their own, which should be encouraged, as this in itself develops essential study skills, which will help them on a long-term basis, as they become more independent, self driven and pro-active in their studies rather than taking a passive, reactive attitude to studying, which is evident among many students, who are not used to being in charge or responsible for doing their homework on their own. And Scandinavian children manage as well in their studies as everyone else without all this extra tuition, and manage to become successful in life and at work, where they contribute a lot to their workplace’s success by being pro-active, self driven and motivated, actively involved in giving input and ideas to improving products and services, are solution orientated and capable of solving tasks on their own, which are beneficial to the companies.

If a child is required to study all the time, it only proves that the child is capable of studying and is diligent and good at following orders, but the question is whether they are capable of applying the knowledge they have gained, once they have passed their exams, since they didn’t have much time to apply the knowledge, but only to memorize the information to achieve good grades, since written exams focus mainly on assessing whether the students are capable of remembering what they have been taught and memorized.

And when it is proven that young people can only concentrate for a short period of time before their minds wander off and/or are interrupted by external sources, why are parents pushing their children to concentrate on their studies hours on end, when it really is wasted efforts, since their brains won’t be able to register all the new information and knowledge anyway. Then they might as well do other activities, where they develop other important skills.

There is an interesting article that deals with this issue, which can be found at the following link >> Why teenagers can’t concentrate: too much grey matter

From various examples, experiences and studies conducted around the world, I think we would do our children and businesses a favour by turning things around, stop the race of giving our children extra tuition till late at night and stop focusing so much on expecting our children to get good grades, and instead encourage our children to be more responsible for their own learning, independent, self reliant, pro-active and solution orientated, as these are, in my opinion and experience, much better skills and qualities for our children to acquire to become successful in future.

There is also an interesting posting on the subject of success and grades at the following link >> Do Good Grades Predict Success

The interesting thing about this posting is that the author found that it was quite difficult to measure what success really is, as success means different things to different people, and my point with this posting is not to judge other parents’ intentions, but to debate whether it is necessary for children to get extra tuition in their forming years and whether it’s worth the efforts and money in the end of the day or whether there are other ways to instill the skills and qualities they need to manage well in future.

To me success is to make a comfortable living doing work that I enjoy and to get opportunities to keep improving myself to become a better person and more knowledgeable and proficient at work and enough challenges to keep my mind working actively on finding solutions, and content, happy and grateful with what I have accomplished in life, knowing that I did the best I could to achieve my goals, and a good health to enjoy the activities I like without pain and discomfort and I wish the same for my children. It’s a personal journey and only we ourselves can find the right path for us to make us happy and content with life, and I encourage parents to ask themselves what it is that drives them and what makes them happy, as sometimes people lose track of what they really want to do in life, because of external influences and expectations.

I agree that our children in an international school shouldn’t have to go for extra tuition, but since I wasn’t there to hear the Principal’s talk on the issue, I don’t know the school’s reasons, so I will tell you my own reasons for not sending my children for extra tuition.

1. I was brought up and educated in Denmark, and it was and still is very unusual that parents send their children to extra tuition after school, because it is believed that the teaching received in school is sufficient enough for the students to be able to pass their exams with fairly good results and with a bit of extra effort on the part of the student will result in very good results. Only students who have learning difficulties like dyslexia would require extra help by professionals.

As neither of my two children have a learning difficulty, I expect them to be able to do what’s required of them in school and do faily well at their exams, as I did in my school time, without the need for extra tuition. Parents in Denmark help their children if they need help and if parents are not able to help, the students have no choice but to figure it out by themselves or get help from their friends or teachers, which is a good way for them to learn how to be responsible and pro-active.

Being involved in our children’s education by supporting and helping them ensures that we take an active and positive role in our children’s lives, which also has the benefit of bringing us closer together. It also gives us parents an all-important understanding of our children’s strenghts and weaknesses, which will furthermore enable us to help and guide them properly and continuously rather than giving that responsibility to someone else.

2. Extra tuition defeats the purpose of teaching our children to work and strive independently, to become pro-active and take responsibility for learning the required topics in school, when they are dependent on extra teachers outside school to give them the expected extra edge or advantage to excel in their studies. I believe that extra tuition done by other teachers outside school downplay the students’ sense of responsibility for their own education and learning and may also confuse them, as they are given work that may not reinforce what they learn in school and may even be in conflict with the teachings of the teachers in school.

3. The school day in the international school, my children attend, is already quite long compared to national schools, and most days my children get home at 16:00 or 17:00 hrs, and they leave at 6.45am in the morning. That is about 9-10+ hours a day that they are away from home as part of their schooling, which is like an adult. If they go for extra tuition for another 2 hours or more, it means 12+ hours a day, which is much longer than the average working adult.

4. I would also worry that this information overload that they are exposed to from a young age will exhaust the children with the result that they don’t really understand what they learn, as there is not enough time for their brains to absorb all the information, hence they are forced to memorise it for one purpose only, to get good results at exams, but the moment the exams are over, they forget what they have learnt, hence the impact of their learning is only short-term. What’s worse is that they may not want to continue reading and learning throughout their lives, because they had too much of it prematurely, which limits their opportunities in future, because it’s unlikely they will be successful in business or in a career, if they are not prepared to keep reading and learning for the rest of their working lives.

5. I feel it’s important that my children are allowed to be children and have some free-time to do what they like to do at their own pace and without parent involvement and without expectations of being productive all the time. So much are expected of children today and even higher expectations when they become adults. Many are expected to live out their parents’ dreams of higher education and careers or more success in one way or the other. That is a lot of pressure on children and I believe if parents are not careful, our children may develop depression or other mental disorders or simply grow up without being happy or being able to enjoy life and life’s simple pleasures, because they can’t fulfil these expectations.

If I had a choice I would rather see my children, when they become adults, happy and enjoying life than seeing them dragging themselves out of bed every morning to go to work without any excitement or happiness in their hearts. And I believe that it is possible to create a life that combines happiness and success, personally and financially, one doesn’t have to exclude the other.

6. I don’t understand why there is such an extreme focus on getting good grades at exams, as from the newspapers we can read that most of the graduates don’t possess the required skills and abilities to be considered attractive candidates for employment. And the question is therefore, do straight As really give students an advantage, in the long run, over students, who have had more time to develop other essential life skills such as critical thinking, creativity, problem solving, interpersonal skills etc., since they had more time to be involved in other activities such as music, art and craft, sports and other creative hobbies, which has proved to strengthen them in other profound and all-round ways than purely concentrating on getting top grades academically. Perhaps a combination would give more desirable results in the long run.

7.  Finally I believe that if students do all their homework, classwork and projects, if they make an extra effort and do additional reading and practising outside school by themselves, if they have a pro-active attitude and seek help if needed and if a student doesn’t have any learning difficulty or other events prevents them from getting a fair grade at their exams, it is not extra tuition that is needed, but the school that needs to be approached. And since we send our children to an international school, and pay for our children’s education, we can expect the school to deliver results based on the students’ abilities and efforts. And if the school fails to do that, we have the right to address this concern to the school, rather than just give up and send our children to extra tuition, as it really shouldn’t be necessary.

I know of parents in international schools that send their children to extra tuition in order to get good grades at the exams, paying RM 600-900 per month for tuition for just one subject and who complain that the school takes credit for the students’ achievements. I think there is something wrong with this arrangement. I can understand that parents who send their children to local schools have no choice but to send their children to extra tuition, because they may not be able to expect much of the teachers, when they don’t pay for the school, but parents who pay premium fees in private and international schools have the right to expect good results without the need for extra tuition. And if parents don’t think or worry their children may not get the desired grades, they should bring it up with the school.

There are probably more reasons that can be thought of and I would like to hear your comments, but my opinion is that children only need extra tuition by teachers outside school, if they have a learning difficulty or if they need to catch up with the other students, because they haven’t been taught the topics before, if they have just moved school, or if for other reasons such as illness or involvement in competitive sports or other very time-consuming activities, they have fallen behind the rest of the class.

If a child cannot cope with his/her studies and none of the above reasons are applicable, perhaps we as parents are not taking our responsibility seriously enough of teaching our children the important lesson of responsibility and commitment to their studies or express our expectations clearly enough, and thereby allowing our children to do badly in school and that is our own fault, not the school’s, the teachers’ or anybody elses fault.

If our children don’t perform as well as desired, I sincerely believe that it is our own fault for failing to do something about it, and that doesn’t include considering extra tuition, because I don’t intend to spent money on that. If we could manage in school without extra help, so can our children, otherwise it would be the same as saying that we don’t believe our children can do as well as us and how would that effect their self worth and confidence?

Unfortunately I missed the introduction to the Key Stage 2 presentation by Principal Ms Jane Kuok, as my husband and I were stuck in heavy traffic in KL on the way to the school in Setia Eco Park, and only arrived at the school a few minutes before the Principal finished.

I was therefore pleased when the parents were invited over to their children’s classrooms to get another presentation by the individual homeroom teachers, which were done for all the years. The presentation covered different aspects of the children’s life in school, what is expected of them, how their routines are, how the award system works etc. and the parents were encouraged to ask questions.  

We also got the opportunity to see the work the students had already done and posted on the walls, pictures of each student and their country’s flag. It was nice to familiarise myself with my daughter’s new classroom and new teacher, whom gave us the impression of being a good teacher, firm but fair and very helpful. A very good impression indeed.

Some of us parents asked about the grading system for year end assessments done last term, as we have been confused about it, when we realised that the grades are based on the children’s age and other criteria, which we weren’t so clear about. My daughter’s new teacher was surprised to hear that our children had been told their grades, which at the time, seemed unfair, as they both had 2 mistakes in their numeracy test, but because one of them is 2 months younger, she got a higher grade than the other child, which is very difficult for them to understand. I therefore wanted to understand how it works, so I could explain it to my daughter. Their teacher explained that they were not supposed to know their grades, as these assessments are only meant to be known for the teachers to help them prepare the children’s year end school report. 

He continued to explain that the reason why the students are comparing their grades is because of the system they have been used to in their old school, but is not the right way forward and is not the way they do it in Tenby, where each student follows an individual path of learning based on their age, ability and so forth, which cannot be compared to others. They should only be compared to themselves to ensure they continue learning and are meeting the learning objectives, and is a way to check whether they are on par or falling behind according to their expected level etc.

He also mentioned that the parents are welcome to come to the school and ask to see their children’s assessment papers and to know their grades, if they needed to, but it’s not something that the parents should worry about, if their child’s report is fine and the teachers are happy with the child’s efforts.

Because it can be rather difficult to understand how this new grading system works, I was very happy to note that the next day my daughter came home and told me that her teacher had written a website address in her student diary that we could visit to read more about it. If you are interested, you can check it out by clicking here .

I think the Meet and Greet organised by the school was very useful, and especially the opportunity to meet with my daughter’s homeroom teacher and the class based presentation which catered to my daughter’s class specifically, as it gave us insigths into what is expected of our daughter and her routines in class, so we know what’s going on and can check with her to ensure she follows through.

And as this wasn’t good enough, it won’t even be the only time that parents get to meet the teachers this term, as the school will soon be inviting parents for individual parent teacher conferences with the teachers to discuss in more details about their children, as the Meet and Greet was only a general introduction about life in school and the school’s expectations of all children.

A very positive start for the new school year 2009/2010 in Tenby International School, and in line with the school’s aims of giving our children the best of the best in education.