I totally agree that parents have a responsibility to support their children every step of the way in fulfilling their potential and become as successful as they can be. And I am not saying that students who need help in subjects, where they might not perform as well as they could, shouldn’t be helped, because they definitely should be helped, as otherwise it will affect their self-esteem and confidence.

My point is that giving students extra tuition for the sole purpose of scoring high marks at exams may backfire, because it doesn’t teach the students the valuable lessons of being pro-active and to be able to study and improve their skills by themselves or to seek the help they need from their teachers, as they are mainly put in to a structured learning situation, where they most likely are being fed by the tutor on what to do instead of having to make the efforts of learning and revising by themselves, which is an important skill for long-term success. If they don’t learn this, they may need someone to tell them what to do even when they start working in a job, which is a burden to any knowledge driven company, which need employees who are able to think for themselves and who are able to take initiate and not just wait for their next instruction from their boss. With other words, they never learn to motivate themselves or to take initiate to improve their skills, but would need to be told what to do.

This is of course not the case, if the tutors are very capable and really understands how to teach a student how to learn and apply knowledge and how to be self motivated and pro-active, and how to study the subject on their own, but realistically not many people have that ability, as this is an acquired skill, which needs to be learnt, and not even in the schools, because if the teachers taught this valuable skill to our children, they wouldn’t need external tutors, but would be able to study by themselves and get good marks at exams just by revising and practicing on their own, just like students in many western countries do.

However I do understand the pressure parents are feeling especially with the IGCSE exams, as the message is almost as if their children can’t get an education, if they don’t score high marks at the IGCSE exams, and especially if parents are planning to send their children overseas, where the competition to enter universities are very tough, I understand why parents can’t see any other way but to push their children.

At the same time I am not sure it’s the right approach to pressure our children to study very hard to get high grades and miss out on other important life events, because there will be thousands if not millions of other students doing exactly the same, so why try to compete with them instead of finding alternative routes for our children, go where others are not going, think out of the box and help our children in other ways. This of course takes a paradigm shift in the mindset of parents and it’s risky, but I am not convinced that just because you have a university degree that you will get a high paid job and a great career, as there as so many other non-academic skills and qualities that our children need to succeed in life, skills that children can only learn outside the classroom and away from books.

Thank you and best regards,

Ghita

From Ghita: I totally agree that parents have a responsibility to support their children every step of the way in fulfilling their potential and become as successful as they can be. And I am not saying that students who need help in subjects, where they might not perform as well as they could, shouldn’t be helped, because they definitely should be helped, as otherwise it will affect their self-esteem and confidence. My point is that giving students extra tuition for the sole purpose of scoring high marks at exams may backfire, because it doesn’t teach the students the valuable lessons of being pro-active and to be able to study and improve their skills by themselves or to seek the help they need from their teachers, as they are mainly put in to a structured learning situation, where they most likely are being fed by the tutor on what to do instead of having to make the efforts of learning and revising by themselves, which is an important skill for long-term success. If they don’t learn this, they may need someone to tell them what to do even when they start working in a job, which is a burden to any knowledge driven company, which need employees who are able to think for themselves and who are able to take initiate and not just wait for their next instruction from their boss. With other words, they never learn to motivate themselves or to take initiate to improve their skills, but would need to be told what to do. This is of course not the case, if the tutors are very capable and really understands how to teach a student how to learn and apply knowledge and how to be self motivated and pro-active, and how to study the subject on their own, but realistically not many people have that ability, as this is an acquired skill, which needs to be learnt, and not even in the schools, because if the teachers taught this valuable skill to our children, they wouldn’t need external tutors, but would be able to study by themselves and get good marks at exams just by revising and practicing on their own, just like students in many western countries do. However I do understand the pressure parents are feeling especially with the IGCSE exams, as the message is almost as if their children can’t get an education, if they don’t score high marks at the IGCSE exams, and especially if parents are planning to send their children overseas, where the competition to enter universities are very tough, I understand why parents can’t see any other way but to push their children. At the same time I am not sure it’s the right approach to pressure our children to study very hard to get high grades and miss out on other important life events, because there will be thousands if not millions of other students doing exactly the same, so why try to compete with them instead of finding alternative routes for our children, go where others are not going, think out of the box and help our children in other ways. This of course takes a paradigm shift in the mindset of parents and it’s risky, but I am not convinced that just because you have a university degree that you will get a high paid job and a great career, as there as so many other non-academic skills and qualities that our children need to succeed in life, skills that children can only learn outside the classroom and away from books.

From Ghita: I am so sorry for the late response. I am not familiar with Tenby International School Ipoh, but I know Tenby in Setia Ecopark hasn’t got a PTA/PA, but I think the parents are expecting a PTA to be established soon. I publish your comment, so if other parents see your enquiry, perhaps they will respond if they know of any association/group in Tenby Ipoh.

From Ghita: Thank you very much for your comment. You are absolutely right, the class size should be max. 25, which was the case back in my school days and still is and is currently the case with Tenby International School and most other private schools. Or as you mention, there should be an assistant teacher for every class to help out, as it’s impossible and unfair for one teacher to cope with 40+ students and I understand the difficultly both teachers, students and parents are facing with the current situation in national schools.

I am sure there are parents and teachers who have been lobbying for this, but if not, perhaps it’s time to unite on this issue and request the Ministry of Education to look into it with the aim of making the necessary changes required. Coincidentally I just saw a quotation from Albert Einstein, which says “Nothing happens until something moves.”, which holds true in most things. If we need and want something to be done, we have to take the initiative and get the ball rolling to make progress. I know and have heard of many wonderful and caring teachers, and I think that if these teachers and parents get together and believe in your power to make a change for the better, you can make that change come true, if you stand together and never give up before you have reached your goal. We always wish someone else could do it, as it’s time-consuming and challenging, but unfortunately this is the reason why there is a lack of progress, because as Einstein said; nothing happens until something moves, and may I add, or until someone moves, and the more people who unite and convince the Government with strong arguments and valid reasons, the stronger your case.

And I believe you do have the right to speak up and request changes, because there is a Convention on the rights of the child, signed by the international community. Among many other rights, the Convention has four core principles, which are non-discrimination; devotion to the best interests of the child; the right to life, survival and development; and respect for the views of the child. Every right spelled out in the Convention is inherent to the human dignity and harmonious development of every child. The Convention protects children’s rights by setting standards in health care; education; and legal, civil and social services.

I think there should be a limit to how many hours children are expected to spent on their schooling per day, so they have adequate time to relax and indulge in other positive activities for all-round and healthy development both physically and mentally.