As mentioned in an earlier post, I came late for Ms Jane Kuok’s talk to the parents at the Meet and Greet event at Tenby International School. However I know of one thing she talked about, which I heard from a friend of mine, another parent, which was that the school discouraged parents from sending their children to extra tuition classes after and outside school.
I agree that our children in an international school shouldn’t have to go for extra tuition, but since I wasn’t there to hear the Principal’s talk on the issue, I don’t know the school’s reasons, so I will tell you my own reasons for not sending my children for extra tuition.
1. I was brought up and educated in Denmark, and it was and still is very unusual that parents send their children to extra tuition after school, because it is believed that the teaching received in school is sufficient enough for the students to be able to pass their exams with fairly good results and with a bit of extra effort on the part of the student will result in very good results. Only students who have learning difficulties like dyslexia would require extra help by professionals.
As neither of my two children have a learning difficulty, I expect them to be able to do what’s required of them in school and do faily well at their exams, as I did in my school time, without the need for extra tuition. Parents in Denmark help their children if they need help and if parents are not able to help, the students have no choice but to figure it out by themselves or get help from their friends or teachers, which is a good way for them to learn how to be responsible and pro-active.
Being involved in our children’s education by supporting and helping them ensures that we take an active and positive role in our children’s lives, which also has the benefit of bringing us closer together. It also gives us parents an all-important understanding of our children’s strenghts and weaknesses, which will furthermore enable us to help and guide them properly and continuously rather than giving that responsibility to someone else.
2. Extra tuition defeats the purpose of teaching our children to work and strive independently, to become pro-active and take responsibility for learning the required topics in school, when they are dependent on extra teachers outside school to give them the expected extra edge or advantage to excel in their studies. I believe that extra tuition done by other teachers outside school downplay the students’ sense of responsibility for their own education and learning and may also confuse them, as they are given work that may not reinforce what they learn in school and may even be in conflict with the teachings of the teachers in school.
3. The school day in the international school, my children attend, is already quite long compared to national schools, and most days my children get home at 16:00 or 17:00 hrs, and they leave at 6.45am in the morning. That is about 9-10+ hours a day that they are away from home as part of their schooling, which is like an adult. If they go for extra tuition for another 2 hours or more, it means 12+ hours a day, which is much longer than the average working adult.
4. I would also worry that this information overload that they are exposed to from a young age will exhaust the children with the result that they don’t really understand what they learn, as there is not enough time for their brains to absorb all the information, hence they are forced to memorise it for one purpose only, to get good results at exams, but the moment the exams are over, they forget what they have learnt, hence the impact of their learning is only short-term. What’s worse is that they may not want to continue reading and learning throughout their lives, because they had too much of it prematurely, which limits their opportunities in future, because it’s unlikely they will be successful in business or in a career, if they are not prepared to keep reading and learning for the rest of their working lives.
5. I feel it’s important that my children are allowed to be children and have some free-time to do what they like to do at their own pace and without parent involvement and without expectations of being productive all the time. So much are expected of children today and even higher expectations when they become adults. Many are expected to live out their parents’ dreams of higher education and careers or more success in one way or the other. That is a lot of pressure on children and I believe if parents are not careful, our children may develop depression or other mental disorders or simply grow up without being happy or being able to enjoy life and life’s simple pleasures, because they can’t fulfil these expectations.
If I had a choice I would rather see my children, when they become adults, happy and enjoying life than seeing them dragging themselves out of bed every morning to go to work without any excitement or happiness in their hearts. And I believe that it is possible to create a life that combines happiness and success, personally and financially, one doesn’t have to exclude the other.
6. I don’t understand why there is such an extreme focus on getting good grades at exams, as from the newspapers we can read that most of the graduates don’t possess the required skills and abilities to be considered attractive candidates for employment. And the question is therefore, do straight As really give students an advantage, in the long run, over students, who have had more time to develop other essential life skills such as critical thinking, creativity, problem solving, interpersonal skills etc., since they had more time to be involved in other activities such as music, art and craft, sports and other creative hobbies, which has proved to strengthen them in other profound and all-round ways than purely concentrating on getting top grades academically. Perhaps a combination would give more desirable results in the long run.
7. Finally I believe that if students do all their homework, classwork and projects, if they make an extra effort and do additional reading and practising outside school by themselves, if they have a pro-active attitude and seek help if needed and if a student doesn’t have any learning difficulty or other events prevents them from getting a fair grade at their exams, it is not extra tuition that is needed, but the school that needs to be approached. And since we send our children to an international school, and pay for our children’s education, we can expect the school to deliver results based on the students’ abilities and efforts. And if the school fails to do that, we have the right to address this concern to the school, rather than just give up and send our children to extra tuition, as it really shouldn’t be necessary.
I know of parents in international schools that send their children to extra tuition in order to get good grades at the exams, paying RM 600-900 per month for tuition for just one subject and who complain that the school takes credit for the students’ achievements. I think there is something wrong with this arrangement. I can understand that parents who send their children to local schools have no choice but to send their children to extra tuition, because they may not be able to expect much of the teachers, when they don’t pay for the school, but parents who pay premium fees in private and international schools have the right to expect good results without the need for extra tuition. And if parents don’t think or worry their children may not get the desired grades, they should bring it up with the school.
There are probably more reasons that can be thought of and I would like to hear your comments, but my opinion is that children only need extra tuition by teachers outside school, if they have a learning difficulty or if they need to catch up with the other students, because they haven’t been taught the topics before, if they have just moved school, or if for other reasons such as illness or involvement in competitive sports or other very time-consuming activities, they have fallen behind the rest of the class.
If a child cannot cope with his/her studies and none of the above reasons are applicable, perhaps we as parents are not taking our responsibility seriously enough of teaching our children the important lesson of responsibility and commitment to their studies or express our expectations clearly enough, and thereby allowing our children to do badly in school and that is our own fault, not the school’s, the teachers’ or anybody elses fault.
If our children don’t perform as well as desired, I sincerely believe that it is our own fault for failing to do something about it, and that doesn’t include considering extra tuition, because I don’t intend to spent money on that. If we could manage in school without extra help, so can our children, otherwise it would be the same as saying that we don’t believe our children can do as well as us and how would that effect their self worth and confidence?
As a parent born and raised in Malaysia, I agree with you that extra tuition is not truly needed, on condition that the child’s home environment, as well as the school, allows the child to gain whatever knowledge he needs. Sadly, this is not necessarily the case. Being a teacher in a national school, I keep on hoping that someday soon, the classroom enrollment of every class is reduced to the ideal number of 25. If this is not possible, then I do wish we teachers get teacher assistants to help us teach better in class.
From Ghita: Thank you very much for your comment. You are absolutely right, the class size should be max. 25, which was the case back in my school days and still is and is currently the case with Tenby International School and most other private schools. Or as you mention, there should be an assistant teacher for every class to help out, as it’s impossible and unfair for one teacher to cope with 40+ students and I understand the difficultly both teachers, students and parents are facing with the current situation in national schools.
I am sure there are parents and teachers who have been lobbying for this, but if not, perhaps it’s time to unite on this issue and request the Ministry of Education to look into it with the aim of making the necessary changes required. Coincidentally I just saw a quotation from Albert Einstein, which says “Nothing happens until something moves.”, which holds true in most things. If we need and want something to be done, we have to take the initiative and get the ball rolling to make progress. I know and have heard of many wonderful and caring teachers, and I think that if these teachers and parents get together and believe in your power to make a change for the better, you can make that change come true, if you stand together and never give up before you have reached your goal. We always wish someone else could do it, as it’s time-consuming and challenging, but unfortunately this is the reason why there is a lack of progress, because as Einstein said; nothing happens until something moves, and may I add, or until someone moves, and the more people who unite and convince the Government with strong arguments and valid reasons, the stronger your case.
And I believe you do have the right to speak up and request changes, because there is a Convention on the rights of the child, signed by the international community. Among many other rights, the Convention has four core principles, which are non-discrimination; devotion to the best interests of the child; the right to life, survival and development; and respect for the views of the child. Every right spelled out in the Convention is inherent to the human dignity and harmonious development of every child. The Convention protects children’s rights by setting standards in health care; education; and legal, civil and social services.
I think there should be a limit to how many hours children are expected to spent on their schooling per day, so they have adequate time to relax and indulge in other positive activities for all-round and healthy development both physically and mentally.
By: Nur Aida bt Ahmad Nazeri on October 21, 2009
at 1:19 pm
Hi, I’m Viviana, nice to visit your blog and thanks for sharing your parenting view. I’m actually looking for parents association/group for Tenby International school Ipoh and found your blog. My kids study at Tenby Ipoh.
From Ghita: I am so sorry for the late response. I am not familiar with Tenby International School Ipoh, but I know Tenby in Setia Ecopark hasn’t got a PTA/PA, but I think the parents are expecting a PTA to be established soon. I publish your comment, so if other parents see your enquiry, perhaps they will respond if they know of any association/group in Tenby Ipoh.
By: Viviana on September 2, 2010
at 5:58 am
parents have a responsiblelity for their children so for mke their children success many parents send their children too tuition classes for study hard.
From Ghita: I totally agree that parents have a responsibility to support their children every step of the way in fulfilling their potential and become as successful as they can be. And I am not saying that students who need help in subjects, where they might not perform as well as they could, shouldn’t be helped, because they definitely should be helped, as otherwise it will affect their self-esteem and confidence. My point is that giving students extra tuition for the sole purpose of scoring high marks at exams may backfire, because it doesn’t teach the students the valuable lessons of being pro-active and to be able to study and improve their skills by themselves or to seek the help they need from their teachers, as they are mainly put in to a structured learning situation, where they most likely are being fed by the tutor on what to do instead of having to make the efforts of learning and revising by themselves, which is an important skill for long-term success. If they don’t learn this, they may need someone to tell them what to do even when they start working in a job, which is a burden to any knowledge driven company, which need employees who are able to think for themselves and who are able to take initiate and not just wait for their next instruction from their boss. With other words, they never learn to motivate themselves or to take initiate to improve their skills, but would need to be told what to do. This is of course not the case, if the tutors are very capable and really understands how to teach a student how to learn and apply knowledge and how to be self motivated and pro-active, and how to study the subject on their own, but realistically not many people have that ability, as this is an acquired skill, which needs to be learnt, and not even in the schools, because if the teachers taught this valuable skill to our children, they wouldn’t need external tutors, but would be able to study by themselves and get good marks at exams just by revising and practicing on their own, just like students in many western countries do. However I do understand the pressure parents are feeling especially with the IGCSE exams, as the message is almost as if their children can’t get an education, if they don’t score high marks at the IGCSE exams, and especially if parents are planning to send their children overseas, where the competition to enter universities are very tough, I understand why parents can’t see any other way but to push their children. At the same time I am not sure it’s the right approach to pressure our children to study very hard to get high grades and miss out on other important life events, because there will be thousands if not millions of other students doing exactly the same, so why try to compete with them instead of finding alternative routes for our children, go where others are not going, think out of the box and help our children in other ways. This of course takes a paradigm shift in the mindset of parents and it’s risky, but I am not convinced that just because you have a university degree that you will get a high paid job and a great career, as there as so many other non-academic skills and qualities that our children need to succeed in life, skills that children can only learn outside the classroom and away from books.
By: emalia on February 28, 2011
at 11:31 am
Dear Emalia,
I totally agree that parents have a responsibility to support their children every step of the way in fulfilling their potential and become as successful as they can be. And I am not saying that students who need help in subjects, where they might not perform as well as they could, shouldn’t be helped, because they definitely should be helped, as otherwise it will affect their self-esteem and confidence.
My point is that giving students extra tuition for the sole purpose of scoring high marks at exams may backfire, because it doesn’t teach the students the valuable lessons of being pro-active and to be able to study and improve their skills by themselves or to seek the help they need from their teachers, as they are mainly put in to a structured learning situation, where they most likely are being fed by the tutor on what to do instead of having to make the efforts of learning and revising by themselves, which is an important skill for long-term success. If they don’t learn this, they may need someone to tell them what to do even when they start working in a job, which is a burden to any knowledge driven company, which need employees who are able to think for themselves and who are able to take initiate and not just wait for their next instruction from their boss. With other words, they never learn to motivate themselves or to take initiate to improve their skills, but would need to be told what to do.
This is of course not the case, if the tutors are very capable and really understands how to teach a student how to learn and apply knowledge and how to be self motivated and pro-active, and how to study the subject on their own, but realistically not many people have that ability, as this is an acquired skill, which needs to be learnt, and not even in the schools, because if the teachers taught this valuable skill to our children, they wouldn’t need external tutors, but would be able to study by themselves and get good marks at exams just by revising and practicing on their own, just like students in many western countries do.
However I do understand the pressure parents are feeling especially with the IGCSE exams, as the message is almost as if their children can’t get an education, if they don’t score high marks at the IGCSE exams, and especially if parents are planning to send their children overseas, where the competition to enter universities are very tough, I understand why parents can’t see any other way but to push their children.
At the same time I am not sure it’s the right approach to pressure our children to study very hard to get high grades and miss out on other important life events, because there will be thousands if not millions of other students doing exactly the same, so why try to compete with them instead of finding alternative routes for our children, go where others are not going, think out of the box and help our children in other ways. This of course takes a paradigm shift in the mindset of parents and it’s risky, but I am not convinced that just because you have a university degree that you will get a high paid job and a great career, as there as so many other non-academic skills and qualities that our children need to succeed in life, skills that children can only learn outside the classroom and away from books.
Thank you and best regards,
Ghita
By: gaothman on March 3, 2011
at 8:05 am